If my wife were into Twilight, here’s how I would make her swoon:
- Stand at the foot of her bed every night and watch her while she sleeps.
- Get craft glue and glitter, and rub both all over my chest.
- Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER wash or brush my hair.
- Go on a strictly all-venison diet.
- Enroll in the local high school, and attend every day, over and over and over again.
How could she say no to that?