Since the subject of zombies and their slaying has come up obliquely on this blog, I thought I’d take a moment to share my preferred implement for surviving a zombie attack.
- A double-barreled shotgun…
- With a chainsaw on the end, like a bayonet…
- Attached with lots of barbed wire…
- Rigged in such a way that pumping the shotgun revs the chainsaw.
This would allow for an action sequence that should sound a little something like this:
- BLAM!
- Cha-CHCK-Buh-b-b-b-b-b-b-b
- VVVRRRRRMMMMMMM!!!
- THWACK
- BLAM!
I think you’ll agree, that would make for a rather satisfying four seconds.
(My apologies to anyone who is shocked or offended by the forethought and planning that goes into surviving a zombie attack.)